So much has happened since I last wrote. I have had two wonderful dreams with my Kelvin. The first one was on the Disney Island, Castaway. I was happy to see that he made it!! He is on the Disney Cruise!! He was running up and down the shore and splashing in the water! He looked so good! When I woke up I was so very happy! The second dream was we were having a picnic. I was in the car getting some things and as I turned there was my Kelvin running yelling "Mommy, mommy, he had his arms opened and i was able to hold him for just that little while! I felt his plump little body in my arms! I close my eyes and I can see him, his smile his cute little face. I miss him so very much! Every night before I go to sleep I pray that God will allow me to visit with him again. I want to be able to be with him even if its only in my dreams. That's what has gotten me through these difficult times. I know that my Kelvin knows how much I miss him and I pray that he convinces God to let him visit me in my dreams. I remember telling him just before he died that we would always be together even when he would be gone and in heaven that we could visit each other in our dreams and we have!
Today I was rearranging my kitchen cabinets and I found Kelvin's Buzz light year lunch box. It has his name on it, Kelvin Space Ranger. In the pocket I found a baggie with $3.00 in it. I remember how careful we were about his diet. I would pack him his lunch, once a week he would buy hot lunch so the $3.00 would cover his lunch plus a cookie! I took those $3.00 in the plastic bag and set them aside. Once we have established his foundation I will deposit these $3.00, I know that my Kelvin would have given up his hot lunch so that another child,a child struck with cancer could have it! This is how giving he was! I am still researching the ins and outs of setting up a foundation. I have e-mailed a few friends who may be able to help me figure out the legalities. I want the foundation to bring awareness, I want people to know that KIDS GET CANCER TOO!! So much is done to bring awareness for adults but not much attention is given to kids! They are silently dieing and unless we bring awareness they will go unnoticed! So if anyone out there has any information they can share to facilitate please help!! There can not be enough organizations out there helping our kids!
Last night my niece wanted to talk to Zacky on the phone, he was so excited and started yelling "Hermanito, Hermanito!" he thought that it was Kelvin on the phone talking to him. I told him it was his cousin Sophia. He is so young and I think that in his mind he thinks that Kelvin is probably in the hospital and he will return. I think that he will realize that he is not coming back someday, but until then he will continue to climb up the stairs and when he gets to the top he will yell out "God night hermanito, I love you too!". He does this every night before he goes to bed. He throws a kiss at his picture. In his mind Kelvin is still alive and will come back to play with him like he use too.
Tonight I will pray for another visit, I will ask God to give my Kelvin a big hug and a kiss for me and I will ask God to allow me to continue on with Kelvin's dream, to one day slay the monster so that no other child will have to fight such a beast again! I ask you all to do the same pray that we are able to establish this foundation so we are able to help those innocent children and their families fighting this horrible monster! It is what Kelvin would have wanted!
We will love you forever, our angel, our little soldier, our sunshine.
Mommy and Daddy
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