Monday, June 11, 2007

Happy Birthday Kelvin

Tomorrow (Monday)is Kelvin's Birthday, he would have been 8. I remember when I told him that he was dyeing that he would tell me. "Mommy I just want to make it to my 8Th Birthday". I would tell him to pray very hard so that God would listen. Sometimes I wonder if there is a God? When I see all the horrible parents who beat and hurt their children I wonder what made us not deserving?? People tell me that things happen for a reason but I still can't seem to find it! This has been such a difficult month! Frank and I continue to fight and well I know that we are just mad as HELL!! We feel so cheated and can't seem to make sense of all this that has happened. Thing were much better after our cruise but knowing that Kelvin is not here to celebrate that birthday that he would pray for so hard adds stress to our already shaky hearts. Zachary is our only buffer, he sometimes points up to the sky and says his brother is in heaven. Every night that I put him to bed I pray that his brother looks after him, now that he is an angel in heaven. I remember in Kelvin's last days how he use to put his hands together, look up and pray that God would spare him. Why did He not listen to our little innocent child?? I always promised God that we would teach Kelvin to be a good person and always help others. I remember Kelvin would say that he would first become a doctor so that he could find a cure so that no other child would have to battle a monster! 2ND he would become "The Boss" of a company but would be super nice to everyone especially daddy! He would tell Frank that he would let him take 2 lunches and lots of breaks so that they could play PlayStation together! So many memories, good and sad ones. I am trying my best to hang on to those good ones.
So June 11Th, Monday Kelvin's school will send tons of balloons up to heaven with lots of good wishes to him! I am so glad that Kelvin truly made his mark at Cimmarron School! I also know that he touched so many of you so tomorrow remember our little soldier who fought until he could not. Say a special prayer for him, light a candle or release a balloon and let him know how much he meant to you all! He is our sunshine, our little soldier our son.
With hearts full of love and tears,
P.S. At the end of the day I tell my husband how much I love him.

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