My Love, My Angel, My Heart
I sit here in front of my computer having to tell you all this terrible news. The cancer has found itself in my angels head, the cancer has spread all over and is no longer curable. Kelvin is terminal. We spoke to his doctor and he said that at this point we will do what ever it takes to make him happy and comfortable. As a mother I knew but did not want to hear this dreaded news. How can this be happening? Why did my son get cancer and why are they telling me now that he will die? Someone asked me 2 weeks ago if I had planned for such an event? Is it fair that a mother should plan her sons funeral? Is it not suppose to be the other way around? At this point the only thing to do is give my son to God and pray to Him he takes care of him. I believe that Kelvin knows too. We have not told him but he has mentioned it and talked about dyeing. My little 7 year old boy felt it and knew it and I think accepts it. We have not discussed with him the latest results. The doctor is still researching and speaking to the other doctors to see if there may be something he can still do for Kelvin. Frank and I have accepted this fact, our son will leave us and go to heaven and be with God and he will be waiting for us to someday join him. I am not angry, I am just very sad. I know that God has the final word and all we can do at this point is pray that he allow us to borrow him for a little bit longer. We told the doctor that we want to take Kelvin on a Disney Cruise and that this would be Kelvin's #1 wish. He told us that he will do what ever he can to make Kelvin's wish come true! I know that his doctor hates the fact that this horrible decease, this horrible monster is stronger than him. We all tried our very best to defeat him but it looks like the monster just won't give up! So God please make Kelvin as happy as possible and please do not let him suffer! He is just an innocent little boy, my boy, my angel, my heart. I have a wish, a wish to be able to do what ever it takes to make Kelvin! We love him and will hold on to him as long as we can and do what ever we can so that he is not afraid. When he mentions heaven I tell him that it is a beautiful place a place that once you arrive you don't want to ever leave! I tell him that all of the things he ever imagined that made him happy are there! That we will all be there together forever and in heaven there is no cancer, there are no monsters just beautiful angels and wonderful things. His pain will all be gone forever and he will always be happy here! He will never cry again, he will never hurt again and he can do all the things he wants to do!
Tomorrow he will have a CT scan to determine if the cancer has spread to any other area. This will determine what course of medications will be given to make Kelvin as happy as possible. We talked a little about chemos that will prolong Kelvin's life. Frank and I know that the most important thing to do at this time is do what KELVIN wants to do. He is the boss now, he makes all the decisions!
We thank you all for your prayers and ask you all to pray for Frank and I so that we do whats right for Kelvin. We ask that you pray that Kelvin is comfortable and happy and we ask you to pray that God gives us the strength to endure what lies ahead. I know that God has the last word and I continue to believe that if He does not need another angel in heaven right now that He may allow us to keep him for a little while longer.
We are broken hearted but full of love to give to our precious little boy, our angel, our love,
MOM & DAD
P.S. Love your children, hug & kiss them when ever you can! Life is short and you just never know how much time you will have to do what make you and your family happy! SO DO IT!!
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