Sunday, October 01, 2006

We Are Home-More From Kelvin's Parents

As I walked down the hall of 4-West, cancer floor, all I could do was cry. Our journey is finally over. We will not go back, all that can be done has been done. I felt like such a failure. All of the staff was so loving and did all they could to keep me falling apart. Frank has been so strong and has had to endure all this plus my sadness. We drove in silence and as we got closer to home we both could not stand it. We did everything possible not to cry but Frank put the radio on and we both could not hold back the tears there were times that the tears were coming down so fast that it was difficult to see. My heart sank, Frank had broken down. We kept holding each others hand, in silence hoping Kelvin did not notice how devastated we both are. I know that he knows, but the word have not been spoken. I go over what I will say a thousand time but can't seem to find the right words. He is happy to be home but he is still weak. He smiled as we walked in the house as Zacky ran up to greet us, hugging and kissing us. He missed us so very much! Zacky can tell something is not right. He continues to go in and out of Kelvin's room he knows his brother is hurt and keeps saying "Hermanito", my brother. Our little family is so heart broken, we are all falling apart we continue to pray for a miracle. God please hear us, please hear how we suffer for our little angel! We can not live without him, he is our blood he is our life.
I am frantically doing what I can to book our Disney Cruise, the next one is on Oct. 7th which is too soon and the next one is on Oct. 14th which we are pretty sure is right. Unfortunately I can't seem to book it, the website keeps telling me that I need to call. There is another one on Oct 28th but we do not want to wait this long. Tomorrow I will call and hope we can book the Oct 14th one.
I looked up the cancer Kelvin has developed "Leptomeningeal Metastases" the details are grim. All the affects it has are devastating, seizures to loss of hearing and sight. It is just so devastating. Just when I think I am ready I see that there is no way I can ever be ready for what lies ahead. I pray for strength for all of us especially my Kelvin and pray that God will allow him to remain strong long enough to full fill his wish. Please join us in this plea!
May the lord have mercy on us all!

No comments: