Thursday, October 05, 2006

A Bleeding Heart

Last night at about 2:00am Kelvin began to gasp for air, his eyes were just wide open but in less than 30 seconds and he was all right, I was scared but he began to talk to me and tell me he was all right. At approx 4:00am it happened again lasting more than 10 minutes, we thought for sure he was leaving us. We held him and assured him he was going to be in God's hands and that we were happy to know that he would be taken care of. I called the hospice nurse who came and checked him. He remained stiff and wide eyed and tears fell down his cheeks. I kept telling him not to cry or be afraid but I could not help but cry myself. The nurse told us that it was a seizure and that he might come out of it and feel better. Frank and I are so afraid of saying goodbye! At that moment that when we thought that God was taking our angel we found courage to do nothing but assure him and hold him. We could not stop kissing him and holding him tight praying for a miracle.
The limo arrived at 7:30am and I told the driver what had happened, he was so amazing he said that he would wait outside all day if he had to, just to see if Kelvin would feel well enough to take a ride. At about 10:00 am he reached over to me to hold my hand. My bleeding heart was filled of joy, I felt as though I was slowly dyeing inside watching him slowly slip away so when he touched me he was reassuring me he was all right. We told him about the limo and after we gave him some morphine to help him with his breathing, Frank scooped him up, wrapped him in a blanket and we ran to the limo. We had to do this for him! He deserves it! Unfortunately he is so tired from the seizures that he was not up to going to Disneyland. I won't give up! I will do my best to get him there! We took about a 2 hour drive he did not want to get off so the driver kept driving. Finally Kelvin said he was done and wanted to go home. We are home now surrounded with friends and family. He is doing much better but we did notice that he slurred, it does not matter. God has given me one more day with my baby and that's all that matters to us now! We will treasure every moment we have with him and not waste any time! We know that he feels loved and safe and that's exactly how we want him to enter Gods Kingdom!
With a bleeding heart,

No comments: