Thursday, October 05, 2006

Kelvin's First Communion

It has been a very difficult day, we have been surrounded by family all day doing what they can for us. Today my little angel received his first communion. As the priest blessed him I felt so happy knowing that he received this sacrament. I remember speaking to the priest at the hospital who told me if ever the time came he would take care of Kelvin's first communion. I always thought he would go through the classes march down the isle and receive it. As I sit here I continue to feel so very sad it just does not seem fair that Kelvin should have to go through all this.
Today I was looking through a notebook for a phone number of a friend to let her know what was happening and I found a page where Kelvin had doodled. He made a picture of his tummy and put a big spider on it. I remember when he drew this about 4 months ago telling me that he had pain and that the spider was inside hurting him. He also made a chart with faces on it, like the ones in the hospital showing his pain level. He drew a happy face first and then last a sad face telling me that he was very sad. I could not fight back the tears looking at this drawing and thinking how much my little angel has gone through all for nothing! Nothing but a loosing battle. I have been by his side most of the day watching and holding him. Today the Hospice nurses came and found that he had a very high heart rate. They gave us a suction machine to help with the discharge in his mouth, if he has another seizure, and gave him medicine to lower the heart rate and to help him if he is having a seizure. They were so very kind and gentle with him.
We are planning to have Christmas for him this Friday. Kelvin is so cute, every time I called attention to him I would say "Kelvin you have to behave don't forget that God is watching" he would respond yes mommy and so is Santa. All year he reminds me that Santa is watching and that he will be on his good list. So all I want for him is to have Christmas. Billy our friend is going to help with this be as magical as possible for my little angel. He will arrange for Santa to come to visit too!! I told him today "Honey I want to tell you that Christmas is here! We are going to decorate and have our Christmas on Friday" He smiled, I could see the joy in his eyes. Tomorrow we are suppose to have his hero visit, Spiderman! I can see that he is excited and we are hoping that he will be responsive to enjoy his visit!
We are praying that Kelvin remains happy and comfortable and that he can be awake and alert to see all the surprises we have for him! We are also praying that God will allow him to stay with us a little while longer so we can hold him and kiss him. I feel so much pain. I just don't know how I will be able to go on without him. I know I have my little Zacky but I just want to be selfish and have both of my little boys with me! God please grant us a miracle, cure my little angel. We beg you!
With a tearful heart,
Mom & DAD

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