Monday, October 09, 2006

Watching Kelvin Live!

Everyday that goes by I praise God for giving us another day with our sweet angel. I lay beside him and watch him sleep and with every breath he takes I thank God. He is very tired and sleeps and I don't want him to feel any pain and just want him to be happy. This morning he woke up with a smile and just hugged and kissed me telling me "Mommy I love you" he kept telling me over and over. I felt such joy being able to hear these words and being able to hold him in my arms feeling his little lips touch my cheek. I capture every smile every laugh and just am amazed at what a beautiful child I have. He is so filled with LIFE and this is what I hold on to. I watch him LIVE and this is what keeps me going. We have had so many people come and visit and he enjoys this for a little while but he gets so tired. I continue to wish that all of these wonderful people would have been here before he was so ill so they could have enjoyed his energy and his wit! He is a funny little guy still saying funny little things that will stay with me forever. We continue to unite and pray for a miracle that will allow us to be blessed with our little child. I sometimes feel numb and don't want to think of anything except Kelvin LIVING! He is such and inspiration. He enjoys mommy reading the Bible and fold his little hands in front of him as he asks God to heal him. I know God is listening and I pray that he will grant this prayer to him to us. He was not able to enjoy the Big Christmas unavailing but we had our little Christmas together as he opened tons and tons of presents. He said to me "Mommy I want to give some of these presents to the kids at the hospital" I told him that we could do that, that we could send some of these to the other kids in the cancer floor. He is so full of compassion and is thinking of the other kids who suffer from this horrible monster, cancer. He is so full of love and he is so full of LIFE!
I sometimes think to myself and wonder what life would have been like without him. I sometimes think if what I know now I knew then. Would I have had him? Of course, the love I share for him is worth a thousands life times. If it is only for a few years that I am blessed with him it is so worth it! I am truly blessed and honored to be his mom! He has taught me and many others the true meaning of life! He has taught me about strength, love and unselfishness. Many of us did not know about childhood cancer until Kelvin. We are now aware and want to help. It is because of Kelvin that our eyes have been opened. I truly believe that he has impacted many, many lives and we are better people because of him. If it is Gods plan to allow him to LIVE, I pray that he continues to teach us how to value every moment and to never give up. He says that he needs to rest now, that he needs to sleep but while he can he will teach us to LIVE!
May God hear our prayers and may God performed a miracle! Please continue to gather the troops as we continue to battle this beast that we call cancer. Prayer is so powerful we just have to believe that he will be healed!
P.S. I want to set a time that we can all light a candle and pray for Kelvin, to pray that God will listen. There is power in numbers and if we all pray at the same time God will have to consider our plea! I will get back to you on a time and date!

No comments: